Why does time fly by so fast?

Seriously, it's about to be September!

Why...

This













+this

+ this














= this (a ghetto medicine ball that my husband is too cheap to buy)

Why do I have to pay...

So after I ran my first 5 k in December, I'm miracously receiving any and all 5 k related material in Forsyth County. I'm not trying to knock any races for cures, or fundraising events, but I don't understand why I have to pay to run in a race. I would just rather donate money, and be done with it. Who ever thought of that idea for people to pay money to walk or run was a genious. I would like to officially announce that I'm starting the "Gina's Race for Debt" 5 and 10 k run. Please pay $40 dollars to run the streets that you can run at any point and time that you please, but rest assure that the streets will be blocked during this event for your safety during Gina's Debt Run. At any other time, you would normally have to look both ways! However friends, you will not on this day. Although, because it's habit for those of you who walk or run on a regular basis, you will look both ways anyway. But please remember that I told you that you wouldn't have to look both ways! This is an email invitation only!! I won't have any materials to give you with the race title on it to show your friends and family, because....well just look at the title of the race.

Interesting....

I should have kept this quote in mind a few days ago at work, but will definitely remember going forward:

"Happiness is a choice...if you make the mistake of allowing your circumstances to dictate your happiness, then you risk missing out on God's abundant life. Being negative and sour isn't going to improve anything either. You might as well choose to be happy and enjoy life!"

Why am I posting this? I let something bother me at work a few days ago, and although I was cordial, I think that I didn't display myself like I should have. I was very polite and I didn't say anything rude or out of the way, but I believe that I should have just said "I'm happy about what has happened", end of story. My husband gave me that advise. It's so much easier said than done. I can't help but think that saying that would be dishonest, and I do not want to lie about things. It's a hard balance. Well I can't dwell on the past, but I know what I'll do in the future. I won't dwell on silly things or situations, and I'll know that regardless God will always have a plan for me. I will "bloom wherever God places me", regardless of the circumstances. I've lost that about myself, and I'm glad it's not to late to become that person again. Thank you God.

1,2,3,4

Four hours of sleep folks. That's (if that long) is the amount of sleep my husband and I received last night. It was a scary night for our area. Why? We apparently had several tornadoes touch down minutes, literally, from us. That was one of the most scariest nights of my life. At one point, when we thought the tornado was close to our neighborhood. Because we live in a town home, we had to hunker down in our lowest level bathroom, which isn't very roomy. I immediately wondered if I was ready to die. Maybe this sounds a little extreme, but I seriously wondered if I would go into heaven. I know that I have God's forgiveness, but I often don't feel like I'm a "good Christian" so to speak. I thought about all of the things that I could have done differently in life. It was such a relief when the storms passed. However, we realized that we had a minor flood on our kitchen counter! After cleaning that mess, we drove around assessing the damage, after midnight!

I'm really glad that we, and our family and friends are safe. I think this was a very awakening experience for me.

Why do I doubt...

my abilities with my job or anything else in life. On Friday, I talked to my supervisor who I hadn't seen much during the week. I needed to talk with her so that when I saw her for a quick minute, I said to her "You need to stay in this office for at least an hour!" I have an absolutely wonderful supervisor that I can, what I call, "talk smack" to. With few details, she is giving me the experiences that I need to get ahead in my HR/recruitment/PR career. Anyway, she sat aside a few minutes for me on Friday so that I could to talk to her about work and personal things about work. After we talked about everything, I was leaving her office and she says "oh, I need to talk to you about something." It was said with a long sigh and I assumed the worst. This has usually been something like "others in this office don't believe that we are going to do well with..." and we, as a team, have proved them wrong with our recruitment efforts every time. Anyway, she paused for the longest time and told me that she wanted me to take over and head a major recruitment event at a college in town for the 2008-2009 school year! This would include me supervising the part-time position over at the college who helps with recruitment for our organization, but she would still officially be the supervisor to that position. I was absolutely shocked because we both hold high standards for our organizations recruitment efforts, and this isn't an easy project by any means. She said that she has spoken with the CEO of our organization and my former supervisor, who both thought that it was a great idea. The CEO asked my supervisor if I could handle it, and her response was "We wouldn't talk about this at all if I didn't." I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor. I have so little confidence in what I do, but I always do a great job and my supervisor often seems to know my abilities more than I do. I also receive the best compliments from my peers, but it's still hard for me to believe in myself. Anyhow, my supervisor told me that she knows my abilities, and knows that I can handle it. She told me to think about it as long as I needed because it will be a major change in my job and my responsibilities.

Because of Friday, I've thought more about the lack of self confidence that I continue to have in myself, the fact that every time someone says something positive about me I shoot it down with a negative comment about myself, and the need to feel like I have to make sure people like me. I've been struggling with my confidence for a while. I don't feel pretty, I'm not a size 0, I'm not in the position or making the money that I should be for being close to 29 years old, and so on. But, this year, I've really tried concentrating on what God has done for me in my life. I've never been told I'm ugly and think I look nice often. My supervisor even told me that she wished she could dress like me. I will never be a size 0 and I personally don't want to be. And no, I'm not making the money that I want to be. But,the position that I'm in, in particular, has been the biggest blessing for me. It allows me to take advantage of learning so many different areas of recruitment and allows me to make mistakes to learn and grow in my abilities. There are so many petty things that I used to think about, like people who sometimes make me dread going to work to see their face, the low pay that I receive or the lack of promotion in the company. However, I've always wanted to work with children, but in a non-teaching environment. After I worked for county government in the HR department, I knew that I wanted to work with recruitment. I wanted a laid back environment and a great supervisor who I could talk to and learn from. Last month, I realized that God has blessed me with that. When you complain and dwell in self pity, you can't see the BS you complain about. It is so much more enjoyable going to work worrying only about my job and how to make the best of it. Like my husband told me, "Only if the lack of someone's work or their behavior affects your job, that's when you need to worry about it. Otherwise, you can't worry about anyone else but you." Amazingly, this has helped with my confidence and my abilities with my job and personal life. I no longer worry about making sure I'm liked by work or personal acquaintances and I don't worry about what anyone, other than my supervisor, thinks about my work. Obviously, I'm doing well, and my confidence should reflect it. I'm not sure if I or anyone ever reaches the confidence level they should have for themselves, but I'm enjoying trying to get to that level. The road to self confidence...

Rain drops...

On Tuesday, I went to a local high school to view a documentary called InsideOut, by the Mattie C. Stewart Foundation. The documentary is being used to address drop out rates within our schools. The organization that I work for is partnering with the high school where this documentary was shown. Currently, this school has the lowest drop out rate in our county. The documentary presented a look into inmates lives, who mostly are serving life sentences without the possibility of parol. The inmates interviewed express regrets because they did not complete their education. Those interviewed said that if they finished high school, at least, they would not be in prison. It was gripping for me as an adult. The documentary had very few young adults shown, something that I thought would grasp the attention of teenagers more. However; it was interesting to see inmates who have served 19 + years, who were incarserated in the early 20s, and to hear them only imagine what could have been of their lives. If this is shown in our city/county schools, I hope that it speaks to our students. Drop out rates have been an issue since way before our time, as pointed out by the presenter, who showed quotes from presidents more than 60 years back. That's a scary thought.

There was one quote that has stayed with me from the documentary. This quote from an inmate has made me realize how I thank God for the biggies in life, but not the everyday small things. An inmate said "I can't stand out in the rain if I want to. Just to feel the rain all over me." I have never thought about how much of a blessing it is to feel rain drops. Think about from an inmates stand point.

Why...

Have I not posted on here lately? Check out my new blog, Gina's Photo. I love taking pictures and wanted to post them. I'm also taking a class this week to enhance my photo taking skillzzzz. This is my camera that I got for Christmas. It is my little baby and is the best camera ever! I hope you likey.